How I Transformed My Most Challenging Year Into A Beautiful Dream Come True

Do you believe that dreams come true?

I do.

The first step is believing.

My intention for this piece of writing is to share my story as an Asian American woman growing up in a middle class immigrant family in California with what one would call a normal upbringing and expectations of what the “American Dream” for my life should look like… and how I got it all, and then in less than a year — I lost it all.

This is my story of how I turned my ever evolving dreams into the new foundation of my own reality.

In writing this piece and sharing it publicly, I ended up challenging myself to be vulnerable and truthful about some of the deepest parts of me. And a part of me had some hesitation in being so raw, but I remind myself that it isn’t about me, it is about the larger collective. I share this in earnest and hope that someone may resonate and learn something from it. So in service and gratitude, I share my journey.

Life as Usual

This girl has many dreams.

Growing up as the first generation daughter of a fairly conservative family that moved to America from Taiwan with limited resources, I was expected to study hard, go to a good college, and get a good corporate job to pay the bills. And I accomplished all of that — from tutoring children at the age of 16, to working a retail sales job at Nordstrom in college, to landing my first real job in Advertising after graduating early from university. I even tried to go the “pursue your passions” route by working with music venues and festivals in the ticketing & entertainment industry, helping small business owners make their dreams come true. After that, I weaved in my love of producing events by working at a start-up company in Silicon Valley at an online marketplace for creative event spaces, working with venue and space owners to expand on their dreams.

Simultaneously to having a 9–5 job for 9 years, I was always working on side projects that fueled the artist in me — from starting a Burning Man theme camp called Life Rulez for 6 years, to planning immersive camping art experiences in the Santa Cruz forest and Joshua Tree desert, to spearheading a community showcase event with Airbnb Experiences for people who are just beginning to come into their artistic expression and creating a platform to share their work for the first time. Dreaming and doing has always been a part of me in a real way, but having a 9–5 job meant I had to prioritize what I gave my attention to creating, and I couldn’t fully surrender into pursuing my big dream.

The Portal Opened

Then Trump got elected President of the United States and that sent me on a whirlwind of questioning what the hell was going on in America, seeing clearly for the first time that something must not be right here. That moment propelled me to truly examine what I was spending my time and energy on.

At this pivotal moment, I learned about cryptocurrency almost by accident through a friend I met at Burning Man who invited me to take the lead on fostering a Decentralized Art Community. That was the gateway portal opening. It was the hope that we could create a better system, one that gives people financial freedom, that led me to fall into the rabbit hole that was the blockchain space. Once I was in, I was in deep, serving as the Global Community Manager at a blockchain infrastructure company based in Thailand. It was my dream job, and I thought I had it all figured out, but it wasn’t the case.

This was a collaborative work about the concept of "proof of work" in the Ethereum blockchain. Using a pickaxe, you can physically mine Ethereum in real time on the blockchain. With this piece, we hope not only to make an interactive and fun artwork, but to also educate people on how the blockchain actually works.

Then, it all changed.

My life turned upside down, and within months, I lost my “dream job”, my relationship of 9 years ended, and I moved out of my beautiful apartment in San Francisco. It felt like I had hit rock bottom. It was the lowest low I’ve felt in my 30 years on this planet.

The Transition

Looking at the situation through a different lens, however, one could say that I was about to embark on a journey towards the highest climax, onto a peak that I didn’t even know existed. During this time of self discovery and healing, I decided that this was the perfect time to take control of my life and do the things that I’ve always wanted to do, that I was always too afraid to do because of the way I was raised in an Asian American household and societal expectations. I forced myself to take a risk. I attribute a lot of this clarity and boldness to my experience at Vipassana — a 10-day silent meditation retreat I attended during this transitional time in my life.

“It took the heaviness of a broken heart and the feeling of confusion mixed with sorrow to learn how important it is to love myself and to allow intuition to be my guide” — Yung Pueblo

I am grateful for everything that I have learned working in the corporate world for the past 14 years, for it was only because of those experiences and paychecks that I am able to support my dreams in this current moment.

I also acknowledge that I was born into a place of deep privilege being raised in a situation where I didn’t have to think about whether or not my basic needs of food, water, and shelter would be met and that the color of my skin did not automatically give me a disadvantage. And with that, it makes me question even further, what do I want to create with my privilege?

“Your ancestors took the lash, the branding iron, humiliations and oppression because one day they believed you would come along to flesh out the dream.” — Maya Angelou

I could have gotten another job at another company if I had acted from a fear and scarcity mindset, but I decided to trust in my intuition and take the leap to pursue my dreams.

The Leap

One of my dreams has always been to travel the world for an extended amount of time while learning, connecting with people, and showing up as my highest self.

For most of my life, I thought it was impossible, unimaginable, abominable.

But in this moment of spaciousness, I decided to travel the world for an undetermined amount of time and trust my intuition to guide me with where I should be and for how long I should stay.

I fell into a position where I could do anything because I had lost everything. I took this as an opportunity to think about what I really valued in life. And so for that, I am grateful for the darkest moments in my life because through that, I was able to find the brightest light I never knew possible. And in doing so, I realized that… anything is possible.

After making that realization, I made a move from there. I trusted the transition.

Another one of my dreams has always been to create experiences for people to feel like they belong, express their authentic selves, connect with others, and share their passions openly.

Throughout my travels, I coordinated and put on events that aligned with my values such as an underground gathering for 1000+ people for the largest Ethereum conference in Prague, to intimate Share & Care gatherings where people could share whatever it is on their mind and in their hearts in a safe and held container in San Francisco, Barcelona and Berlin. I attended international gatherings and music festivals in Amsterdam, Thailand, Costa Rica, Taiwan, China, and Berlin. And researched how different communities and cultures lived, worked, and played. I had the honor of working with some of the best healers in Eastern medicine and did a deep dive on learning various healing practices like Watsu, Thai Massage, Meditation, Chinese Medicinal Herbs, Craniosacral Therapy, and Psychedelic Healing Therapy. My eyes were opened to the possibilities of a different way to live.

Sunset by the ocean during Envision Festival in Costa Rica.

It was definitely uncomfortable, traveling solo and without a set plan. Before that point, I was the type of traveler that would travel to a destination for 2 weeks max, booking round trip flights and pre-planned accommodations, and of course only if my manager at work allowed me to take time off in advance. I had only traveled solo a few times, mostly to yoga retreats, and other than that I was traveling with my partner at the time or friends.

Trusting my intuition had been a light game that I used to play periodically, and now it was the biggest thing I relied on every day and night in deciding where to go and who to surround myself with.

I cried a lot. In the fields of Thailand, on the dance floor of a festival in the forest alone, riding my bike through a massive thunderstorm in Amsterdam, swimming in a Costa Rican river as the rain toppled a giant tree, experiencing the indigenous plant medicine of the Amazon, finding myself on an unplanned 20 hour stop in India, floating in the healing salty waters of the Adriatic Sea in Croatia.

I danced a ton. I discovered Ecstatic Dance on the last weekend I was in San Francisco right before I departed on my journey and have visited an Ecstatic Dance in almost every country I’ve travelled to. And I’ve found that expressing myself on the dance floor is one of the biggest healing techniques that I could use. I dance every single day — in the mornings during my morning routine, on my walks on the sidewalks, in the bathroom while brushing my teeth, in the car, on a bike, on top of an RV, outside my tent, on the train. I take music as the input and what flows out of me is the output with dance.

I chose to celebrate my strength and independence. Its been a year since I started traveling and living the nomadic life and every aspect of my life has changed. Its been many tears and dark moments, it ain’t easy. And yet I am my most happiest and most confident I’ve ever been in all my life. Through the darkness, she rises.

Traveling solo with only one big backpack, one small backpack, and small suitcase.

Exploring the streets of Mumbai, India after my plane had to make an emergency landing.

Dancing in the streets of Berlin, Germany and like a bird she flies.

I was forced to exit sleep-walker mode and enter dream-weaving paradigm shifting. Through this transit, I have developed a greater understanding of what I believe in and why. Each country I visited and each person I met along the way was a teacher.

The DREAM

All of these experiences from traveling, dancing, self healing, vocalizing, manifesting, and learning have culminated into a concept called The DREAM Workshop.

The DREAM Workshop is a methodology that I developed incorporating free flowing movement through dance and embodied movement, intention setting, visualization meditation, and vocalization.

And in the act of testing the concept, my wildest dreams came true.

In September 2019, I was at Burning Man sitting underneath the Paraluna art installation by Christopher Schardt which is a giant, spinning disc of LEDs with classical music playing from speakers on the ground. Schardt’s installations have always been very meaningful throughout the many burns as it was more than simply a thing of beauty, but instead it was an environment with an emotional impact — calmness, serenity, safety amidst the chaos. I gazed up at the hypnotizing LED disc in a trance like state — processing changes, loss, and situational factors while at the same time contemplating action steps, solutions, and possibilities — it was therapy and inspiration in one experience. The early sparks of thoughts becoming realized before my very eyes staring up at the lights. I dreamed and I believed. It was in this moment, I recorded a voice memo to myself while I was sitting under the art piece declaring out loud what my dreams were — that I would share The DREAM Workshop with people and help them crystallize their dreams and strengthen their belief in themselves.

The Paraluna by Christopher Schardt at Burning Man served as inspiration for The DREAM Workshop.

And just a few days later, the debut of The DREAM Workshop happened at the Life Rulez dome at Burning Man with 16 dreamers. My dream became a reality.

Flash forward to one month later, I arrived in New York City on October 2, 2019, and I knew that I wanted to spend at least one month in a vibrant city to realize my dreams. My intuition lead me to NYC, “The City of Dreams” they say. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I trusted the way. I attended Horizons: Perspectives on Psychedelics conference in mid-October and ended up attending the unofficial after-party at ZeroSpace — an immersive technological art exhibit space. It was then where I walked into one of the rooms and realized that it was the same installation from the same artist as the one I sat under at Burning Man — the Parastella. Talk about synchronicity at its finest! I sat under it and recorded another voice memo on my phone declaring that I would host The DREAM Workshop there.

And it happened. The DREAM Workshop took place on Sunday, November 10th, 2019 at ZeroSpace with 62 dreamers coming together.

Dreamers gathered underneath the Parastella to declare their dreams for themselves and for the world.

My intention for the event was to create a space for people to show up as their highest self and explore what their dreams are for themselves as individuals and what their dreams are for the world, for humanity, for all of us. We created a container for dreamers of all backgrounds who were brave enough to take risks together — where they could reclaim their personhood and create what they wish existed. Whether an artist, maker, activist, seeker, or someone stepping into their creative endeavor for the first time — it was a home for them to discover what needs to surface and meet others that are doing the same.

I use dance and movement as an expression of the internal energy we hold within ourselves, allowing music to guide us as our body moves to the rhythm of the sound. High performance states or “being in the zone” or flow state are all marked by a strong cohesion between the body, mind, and emotional states. This cohesive action creates creativity, non-distracted focus, & effortless actions.

A collective dance exercise opened our bodies to move in cohesion.

Collective vocalization using mantras is a powerful tool that we can play with to manifest and create our own reality.

And this entire experience is an example, a data point, solid proof — that dreams come true. Yes they do. I had a dream that I was going to bring The DREAM Workshop to New York City. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. But I believed that I was going to do it. I believed that I was strong enough, powerful enough, and capable enough to make it happen. The first step is believing, and the first person that has to believe in yourself is… your damn self! When I first declared it, I wasn’t entirely sure how I would get there. But the trust and surrender of knowing that it will all work out led me to make decisions and say out loud things that I might have been fearful of saying at the time — but that didn’t stop me. That is part of it, trusting in yourself and believing in yourself. I believed and it happened.

The DREAM Workshop happened in New York City at ZeroSpace.

And I am so grateful for everything that had to happen to get me here. Yes, all of it, even the pain and sadness. I believe that that is the secret to it all — having gratitude every step of the way.

The act of self discovery not only runs parallel to, but is an essential step in the pursuit of world transformation. That the act of confronting our most urgent personal callings extends into the way our world unfolds. This is our call to go for it and live your biggest, fullest, and truest now.

Be relentlessly committed on your dreams, but flexible in how you get there.

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And please reach out if you’d like to host The DREAM Workshop in your space. I am happy to travel to you around the world. :)

Click here for a detailed recap of The DREAM Workshop that happened at ZeroSpace on November 10th, 2019.